just a mom figuring it out one day at a time

Mommy & Me Camp-In

A Camp-In.  A what?

I admit I had no clue when I signed up. It was a Daisy (entry level Girl Scout) activity that my daughter was dying to do.  All I knew was that were supposed to camp indoors, on a church floor, for the night. Oh, and that there would be indoor bathrooms and coffee in the morning. Overall it sounded good, that is until Tuesday night.

Early on Tuesday I received word that my childhood friend’s sister at 47 had died suddenly.  Heartbroken for her, there was no doubt that I would attend the funeral. By Tuesday night I learned that the services were–of course–set for Friday afternoon.

Looking at my calendar and the timing of everything, I figured out I could squeeze it all in. We might be a little late but it would work. I had my husband pack our camping mats etc. and prepared for the dash from the funeral to the house to the glorious camp-in.

The drive home from the post-funeral gathering through the mountains of Virginia left me exhausted. I think it was not so much the drive as it was the emotional drain of the event. Sleeping on a hard floor with a bunch of giggling little girls was not what I had in mind; unfortunately there was no turning back.

Gathering KC and all our gear from home, I tried to put on my best “Mommy is so happy!” face. Luckily I think she was so excited she didn’t notice how forced it was. We arrived and immediately began the series of activities they had planned for the girls.  I was so tired; I honestly don’t remember much about them. But the two hours past soon enough and it was time to set up camp.

When we finally did bunk down, KC and I lay facing each other. She shot me a goofy smile and said, “You know Mom, I’m sorry for your friend. But I’m glad we were still able to come.”

My heart melted a little with her words. Then I felt bad. Yes I had been there in body, but I hadn’t been really present for her that night.  My guilt soon turned to appreciation for her and for our time together.

Despite the hard floor–and I might add complete lack of sleep–I’m glad I went. I only hope that next time, I am better prepared to really be there for her.

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