Insomnia

Laying in my bed, I hear it. A long scrap followed by a thud. Then it comes again.  The sounds are not terrifying, rather reassuring. Until my mind starts to wonder. Did we remember to put the trash and recycling out?  I lay there a few minutes more; hoping, no praying that somehow the running loop of thoughts and ideas would be quieted. Nothing. My body aches to sleep, but my mind won't let it. What do I need to get done this week? Schedules... what are all of our schedules? Do I have everything written down? Is CJ's uniform ready? Where do I start? My eyelids get heavy.  Am I getting closer?  Like clockwork I hear it. A faint whistle that slowly gets stronger and stronger. The rumble of the train gets closer and I imagine it passing beneath my eyelids, each car flashing a different memory of today.  I imagine that I might jump on and it carry me to that sleep that I crave.  It fades into the distance and I am left with nothing but silence. I am not asleep, but hoping.. just hoping that I am closer.   Eventually I cannot stand it anymore, that "being unproductive in my inability to just sleep." I get up and go downstairs, I wander and check on things and then back again to where it all did not begin to try all over again.