Mom Evolving

The 'You are Welcome' Generation

This morning we met with CJ's principle to discuss the future of his school etc. Amongst many interesting things said, perhaps one of the most telling was, "I am from a generation where there is a difference between 'You are welcome' and 'no problem.'" For our generation "X" society that operates in a world of texting, email and Twitter we would use these phrases interchangeably failing to notice the subtle difference.

So what is the big deal? When you stop to think about it, the difference between the two phrases is far from subtle.  Further, our inability to recognize the difference I think is reflective on where we are today as a society.  We have lost a certain level of civility.  The mere interjection of "YOU" into "You are welcome" personalizes the interchange.  However, "no problem" removes that personalization.  So what else have we lost?

As we have evolved so many things have been gained; many thing have become more acceptable, but at what cost?  What or how do we regain those elements of civility? What happens if we don't try and hold on to them?  I think like any cultural identity we have to be conscious of those positive behaviors and try and incorporate them where possible, lest they be lost forever.

Insomnia

Laying in my bed, I hear it. A long scrap followed by a thud. Then it comes again.  The sounds are not terrifying, rather reassuring. Until my mind starts to wonder. Did we remember to put the trash and recycling out?  I lay there a few minutes more; hoping, no praying that somehow the running loop of thoughts and ideas would be quieted. Nothing. My body aches to sleep, but my mind won't let it. What do I need to get done this week? Schedules... what are all of our schedules? Do I have everything written down? Is CJ's uniform ready? Where do I start? My eyelids get heavy.  Am I getting closer?  Like clockwork I hear it. A faint whistle that slowly gets stronger and stronger. The rumble of the train gets closer and I imagine it passing beneath my eyelids, each car flashing a different memory of today.  I imagine that I might jump on and it carry me to that sleep that I crave.  It fades into the distance and I am left with nothing but silence. I am not asleep, but hoping.. just hoping that I am closer.   Eventually I cannot stand it anymore, that "being unproductive in my inability to just sleep." I get up and go downstairs, I wander and check on things and then back again to where it all did not begin to try all over again.    

Question of the Day

What's your favorite road trip memory?

When I was a child we would take a lot of road trips out west when I would visit my father for the summers. My favorite memory was visiting Four Corners.  We pulled up well after 8 PM and I ran out and laid spread eagle, so my torso what in the middle and each limb was in a state.  The guard, or whoever he was that "manned" the area looked at me like I was stark raving crazy. Maybe I was, but I fulfilled my dream.

Respect

As I write this, I hear the words of Aretha ringing in my ears- R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Lately there have been several instances where the issue of respect has come up. I had commented recently to CJ, that you need to be "respectful."  He looked at me and said, "I think I know what that means, but it seems like it means a lot of things."  This really made me start to think, and that opened up a discussion this week with my husband about what respect is and how exactly we need to teach it to our children.

How do you define respect? CJ was right; respect is multi-faceted and at times contradictory.  When I think about it I think of: respect for self; respect for others; and respect for all things,living or otherwise, including our environment. Although tied to morality, respect is different. In an ideal world we would teach our children to be respectful consistently in all aspects of their lives, but the reality is that society as a whole does not do that.  Sometimes to be respectful of one thing, it means being disrespectful to another.  Immediately the civil rights movement comes to mind.  Here was a movement to respect the dignity of people of different races, in a world that at the time did not itself deem it important.  So how do we engrain the concepts of respect into our children? How do we teach them respect and how to navigate the contradictions?

Thank You

Today I thank my children for helping me to learn to fall asleep again in the middle of the day, to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. I thank them for helping me rediscover the joy of puddle jumping, and no I am not referring to small aircraft, rather to small people in pink Hello Kitty boots.  Thank you both for reminding me of the joy and richness of being creative for no other reason than self satisfaction. And mostly I appreciate all of the silly giggles. Thank you KC & CJ, I learn so much from you both...more than you ever know.

Question of the Day

If you could travel back in time and meet yourself as a teenager, what three things would you tell yourself?
Submitted by Digital Scrapbooking.

1. Trust your intuition and use this time to pursue your dreams.
2. Balance taking a risk and playing it safe.
3. Sometimes your parents are right, so listen even when they aren't talking.

Question of the Day

What's something you would splurge on this year to improve your future?

A babysitter to get some things done. Unless it is tied to an assignment or something immediately due for work, I have a hard time justifying getting one. That and education. There are a few classes in areas that I would like to develop which would be fantastic. Again need the time and freedom to get to them.

Trying to Adjust

Today marks day 3 without the use of my right hand. The surgery went well. The put me in this purple getup and blew hot air into it until I looked like the blueberry girl from Willie Wonka. Lovely. They asked me a question and the next thing I knew I was out. When I woke up it was all over. 

So today is the big day when I can bathe. I am so excited because I feel so gross.  We decided it would be a good idea to get another sling for the shower, so my husband just left to get one leaving me here alone.  I feel like the kid who was just left alone for the first time. My energy is low, so I will sign off for now.

Driving through Life on Manual

Kids both off to school and I am amazed that it is almost 10AM. What the heck happened to my morning and just how am I going to get everything done today? I have work to do, a doctors appointment and never mind everything necessary to prep for the surgery - which will happen in minus 48 hours. A surgery that is going to leave me with only one arm for awhile and COMPLETELY homebound for 2-3 weeks. Am I freaking? Yes. About the surgery? No. About the fact that it is going to slow me down and completely disrupt life? Yes.

As a Mom I feel like I am always shifting gears as I make my way through each day. Starting and stopping, shifting between home and work, work and home, kids and work etc. etc. etc.  There never seems to be enough of me and no matter how much I plan, I can't seem to get it all done.  I know, I know, lower your expectations... but I just can't seem to.

Getting ready for the surgery has been a real challenge.  It is as if I am planning for a long vacation, that isn't' a vacation.  Maybe I am obsessing, but I want everything organized from schedules, to what is labeled in the freezer to my linen closet. Yes, this may sound OCD but I have been really fortunate to have a lot of people offering to help but in return I feel I should make it as easy as possible for them.

Gotta shift gears and get some work done... Until later...

What was I thinking?

The sun was starting to come up and I could feel the morning, thick with humidity, gather on my skin.  My feet kept hitting the pavement, in time with my stride and the music playing in my head.  With each breath I felt more and more alive. Connected. Connected to the space and world around me.  Running  house by house, I inhaled the smell of grass and blooming flowers. That was mid last week on my morning run... what a contrast to Sunday.

Late Saturday I started to feel the rumblings of a horrible headache, which evolved into a full blown migraine by Sunday morning. So much so that I went to bed before 9 in the hopes I would feel better before the ten mile race on Sunday. Not a fast runner, I just go for the experience. Running for me is a time to rediscover myself, the world around me, and to observe everything around me-including other runners during races.  Running is one of those sports where population is so varied that you are bound to see all types of runners from the sixty something runner wearing his thread barren running shorts and sweaty headband, to beauty queen racer whose runny makeup almost gives her a clownlike appearance by the end of the race.

Waking up Sunday morning I could barely open my eyes. Stumbling into the bathroom at 5 am I was bathed in the bright lights and did a fantastic vampire impersonation as I buried my face into the crook of my arm.  Not good. Sooo not good. But I had to run that day. Why? I am just now figuring that out.